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GMD Verdict  

Review of Forest of Amuhn
"Its big, dark, rocky, and confusing. Yes, a map based on Kirsty Alley's vagina."
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Map Name   Forest of Amuhn (amuhn.bsp)
Map Version   04-11-04
Map Author   Chamooze
Download   amuhn.zip (7.44mb)
 
Reviewer   Saig
Reviewed on   Wed Jul 13 05:31:15 2005

Why the hell not. Lets do another review. Seems like its been a while since I last let out my aggression. So then, Forest of Amuhn. What or where the fuck is Amuhn? Beats the shit out of me.

First of all, the map's strongest point is the brushwork. Well, its not so much that its really well done. If you examine the placement of brushes closely youll notice flaws that I speak of, but looking at it as a whole, you get a real sense of atmosphere in most parts of the map. Nice job. The real jaw-dropper though is that you'll also notice a distinct lack of crates in this map, which is a motherfucking blasphemy considering one of the author's previous maps was basically a GOD DAMN CRATASTROPHE. Yes, a CATASTROPHE OF CRATES, you heard me. Its not BOXFESTIVAL but it sure comes close. Actually, CRATASTROPHE might be even worse than BOXFESTIVAL. Its good I never got around to reviewing Hagges because I might have had to endure an aneurysm.

Lets change the subject to something more interesting, shall we?

No?

You want me to talk about crates some more?

EAT ME

I am not here for your personal amusement you filthy cockslapping urinalcakes. I take these reviews SERIOUSLY because I AM A SERIOUS INTERNET PERSON who writes reviews for maps made for a game that is approaching a DECADE past its original release.

Ok since thats outta the way lets discuss the layout. This map is HUGE. Fucking HOWARD HUGE style. As mentioned in the sidebar, I STILL get lost in this fucking disorienting maze of rock and leaf textures. I run down this one tunnel, then end up in a cave, then somehow get fucking turned around and sput out in the same area I was before I even hit that tunnel, which by the way I end back up at eventually. FUCK. The wide open landscape provides Humans with a very generous advantage in a good percentage of the map, but Aliens have a bit of a twist in that the uneven ground serves as launchpads for big jumps, making them tougher targets to hit. It is REDICULOUSLY easy to reach insanely high speeds via strafe-jumping in this map. I guess that helps getting back into the fray after you die, that and forwarding becomes really really important here, as well as communication with your teamates. Well, that is if anyone is actually playing. Chances are a mapvote will pop up at least two minutes into the map, and by that time you will probably have gone in a complete circle three or more times.

Next on the checklist is creativity. Yes, its actually a very logical approach to making a somewhat believable forest setting with the crusty shit Quake2 engine, but it still doesnt quite pull it off all the way. Overall though, the nature-oriented theme the author (who is Chamooze btw) was going for was achieved at the least, so props for that. Working with that much trimesh probably gave Chamooze a fucking migrane and a minor case of arthritis. Stop working with so much trimesh and you would probably have a full head of hair because all the stress and tediousness of tri-mesh makes it all fall out, leaving you the lumpy bald man we all know.

Conclusion huzzah! Well, lets see. To be honest, there have been maps like this before if you think about it. Lavatube sticks out in my mind vividly, and thats what I was mostly comparing Amuhn to at every corner. Overall it holds up well in visuals, but the playing field is just way too wide open for any really serious games. Gloom wasnt meant for these types of battlegrounds, I learned that with Chokepoint Jamboree, but I made that map to piss people off intentionally anyway ha ha!

.....

Um yea. Id say if you chop the map up a but and reduce it to a more refined set of paths then it could possibly become a decent map. I really am impressed by the brushwork Chamooze, now just apply your talents in that field to make a map that isnt a dick-grinding nightmare to navigate. Not to be offensive or insulting at all with that last line, Im just a strong believer in tough love.

(NOTE: If anyone takes the brash insults in this review even one bit seriously I will have already sensed it and pre-empted it by launching a cinderblock across the country aimed at your head with PIN-POINT LASER-GUIDED PRECISION. The same thing will happen if you interpret "tough love" in that last sentence as something fucking homosextacular.)

(BONUS NOTE: If you took the review seriously AS WELL AS interpreted "tough love" as homofaggerish, you do not recieve two cinder blocks, since two cinder blocks per stupid asshole does not fit my budget. As such, you will instead recieve a box full of bees in the mail that I have trained to fly directly into human nostrils and sting the back of your fucking eyeballs.)


User comments:
Next time actually try to review the map. - b0nkerz
wow is being a condescending asshat a full time job - saig
Too big - This map almost always gets @mapped or mapvoted within 45 seconds. - Stasis
come on everyone post some more outstanding comments like b0nkerz lol ... - saig again [more]
:o - :O
Saig is drunk again - Nunca
I still haven't played this map due to mapvotes, though I don't know if I w... - Smaug [more]
more please! - roots
plz bonkerz i needz more feedback plz soz i can makez bettarz reviewz thx - saig once more
Saig typeh map amuhn in conzole kool things happen, like a map pops up t... - b0nkerz2 [more]
omgz i didntz kno datz! LETZ REVIEWSZER - saigz hiz
Nice idea, but it's just too damn big and labyrint like. - Jose
"I am not here for your personal amusement you filthy cockslapping urinalcak... - Kain [more]
sorry bonkerz, i wasnt aware you were on your period at the time o... - saig last time [more]
Some time ago, I did need to buy a house for my business but I did... - PATTY28England [more]

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Comment on this review:

Average rating for Forest of Amuhn: 4.0/10

Rate-O-Map™

Total: 22 ratings
 
Textures
Cube Cube Cube

Comment: The textures look good, cant knock that. Most of the brushwork is just terrain, so it leaves a little to be desired, but overall much nicer than standard Q2 selection.

Layout
Cube

Comment: Fuck fuck fuck no. NO. Scale this son of a bitch DOWN. Way too fucking huge. Ive played through the map numerous times and still manage to get lost quite easily. I dont understand this. The layout itself isnt especially friendly to either race as well. Somethings gotta give.

Creativity
Cube Cube

Comment: Well, it doesnt really look like a forest to be honest, but its about as close as youll probably get with the aging Q2 engine. The outpost buried into the corner of the map is especially devoid of any creativity. Nice environmental sound effects though.

Overall
Cube Cube

Comment: Mostly for the visuals. The layout isnt a high point of the map due to it being way too open. Its a nice map to stroll around and wonder exactly how the author constructed it without losing his fucking marbles all over his keyboard. If you misintepret that last line as something sexual then you fucking lose.
This review has been read 1725 times. The Gloom Map Depository is copyright Team GMD. Quake2 is a registered trademark of Id Software. Gloom is copyright Team Reaction. The review script is copyright R1CH.