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GMD Verdict  

Review of Bitter
"This map *S*-*U*-*C*-*K*-*S* !!!!!"
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Map Name   Bitter (bitter.bsp)
Map Version   4. 2. 1999
Map Author   CastorTroy
Download   bitter.zip (0.1mb)
 
Reviewer   Saig
Reviewed on   Thu Dec 7 19:21:40 2000

Oh I so love Bitter! Its such an incredible level! The complex layout and superb design scheme make it the best Gloom map.......NOT! I dont want to get you pro-bitter hippies all happy; I am being EXTREMELY sarcastic. I am very hesistant to write a review about this level, because I have to actually THINK about the level and its strong and weak points, and that may make me go insane. Well, better to endure the pain to ensure this map never...NEVER is played on public servers again.

Lets see. Lets start with architecture and save the best for last. The architectural look of the level is, simply put, ugly. Rocks, darkness, rocks, grass, rocks, a big base....and oh yea, did I forget rocks? The lighting doesnt even help out. The whole cave is almost pitch black; add that with the fact that the walls are all the same texture, and it can become a disorienting experience. The human base, however, looks rather nice. Ill have to admit, there was some actual allignment in there. Its also nice and bright at the human base, providing an appropriate light level to be able to spot spiders quickly. As for the spider base, its basically a big cave with horrible lighting, and has a couple of big boulders sitting around. Oh man! That sounds so great that I nearly shit my pants!

Well, now that Im done with that area, lets go to R_SPEEDS! Now, usually mappers stick to the guidelines about r_speeds when mapping, but this map breaks the rules. That cave I talked about in the second paragraph?...its long as hell. You can see a good mile down it, and by that time you'll be chopping so much a fucking commando could come swinging by and roast your stalker with his magnum. Sounds fun? It better fucking not. As for actual count of r_speeds, I do believe it was around 1000+ staring down the cave from the start. Well, throw in about 10 humans and spiders, then youll probably jump up to about 1500-2000+. Uhnnnn...horrible...

Now we get to the final part! The atrocious LAYOUT! Heres a basic rundown of what its like: A big cave separated by a big rock with an opening at the end, where a big base lies. Simple eh? Now you think to yourself, "Hey, someone could make a map like that, and make it halfway decent I bet..". Well, you may be right, but the author of this map didn't pull it off. In fact, he failed miserably at it. Well, the one good thing I could see about this map is that a lot of human players probably adore it. Gah, my mind is filling with evil thoughts; I need to stop thinking about this fucking level before I go out and do harm to myself and others...

BOTTOM LINE: This is as bad as it gets, UNTIL YOU PLAY SIEGE!! (Read below) I beg of you, please do not download this map and expect to play a serious game of Gloom on it. In fact, do now download it PERIOD! Leave it sitting on the fileplanet ftps. Let it rot there, and hopefully die. There is NO WAY IN HELL this map will EVER recieve a GMD Seal of Approval...in fact, if I could give out awards for shittiest Gloom maps ever made, this one would take the cake!

ADDED NOTE: Oh my GOD! NO! Bitter is not EVEN the worst! Siege! OH GOD! SIEGE is fucking TEN TIMES WORSE than this map! Even though Bitter sucks harder than a Hoover Vaccuum, it STILL isnt as bad as god damned SIEGE! If you want a laugh, download this map. If you want to see evil at its purest, the kind that will make you convulse and collapse in a pile of your own vomit...go get Siege. BEWARE SIEGE! Bitter even fears Siege! AHGAF:KLJD! #$#@%!@%#%^!@$

Castor Troy: IF you ever read this review, dont take this too harshly. You yourself probably knows this level sucks ass, and you can admit it at the bottom of the page in the comment script. Heheh....


User comments:
bingo. rushers will love it, and at least the rushing won't last too long...... - ando [more]
Maybe a little too harsh, wait a minute this is bitter! - ValouR
Heh Valour. I actually think I was a bit too soft while reviewing it:P - Saig
Bitter owns, man! Shut up and play it, fool! - Devil Warrior
Devilwarrior....pro-bitter hippie - Fella
How many times you have to say that bitter sucks ass... - Krybosis
I just gotta luv Bitter! It's is THE one and only map that really tests you... - T-Man [more]
Hi, I'm Casto Troy and i approved this message. - Castor Troy

Your name:

Comment on this review:

Average rating for Bitter: 4.9/10

Rate-O-Map™

Total: 74 ratings
 
Textures
Cube Cube

Comment: I cant deny the fact that all the textures in the human base were actually alligned and chosen well. The rock textures used for the rest of the level felt boring.

Layout

Comment: AHHG! This is fucking HORRIBLE! Please do NOT let this map be on the rotation again! This layout is so bad, I bet a NEWBIE could think up a better one!

Creativity
Cube

Comment: Not really any creativity involved here. Just rocks, lights, and a big yellow base...; FUN FACT: Yellow is the color of mustard!!

Overall

Comment: It saddens me that a map like this had to be made. What saddens me even MORE is the fact that some people actually LIKE this lump of shit! Keep away...far, far away from this one.
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