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GMD Verdict  

Review of Zeqet Erelium
"NO NO NO! BAD R1CH! DIABOLICAL CRETIN!"
-
Map Name   Zeqet Erelium (speed.bsp)
Map Version   1.0
Map Author   R1CH
Web page   Click here.
Download   speedmappak.zip (.8mb)
 
Reviewer   Saig
Reviewed on   Mon Aug 27 09:27:25 2001

By the time I got to this part of the review, I was already to have a nervous breakdown. Describing this map in detail will surely send me into a rage beyond anything ever seen before, so Im making this one exceptionally quick in fear that my own mentality will be destroyed.

Simple to say, the architecture is boxy. Oh god but the lights! THE LIGHTS! NO ITS RAINBOW SHERBERT ICECREAM! R1CH, I dont know what kind of special drugs they have over in the "jolly" land of England, but keep it over there! I never want to see this again! NEVER! ARGH! Its like giving a child a box of crayons and a crackrock, thats what the map is! Its not funny! You think its funny? Wait till you begin crying from how bad this map is! I almost cried, but then I realized that R1CH "tried" to make this map horrible! EVIL BLOODY BASTARD! He did this to make me suffer!



Now the layout! HORRIBLE! Its not a layout! NO ITS NOT! Its a concoction of evil, set up to obliterate any tolerance I have! R1CH KNEW this would get to me, and hes just testing my patience! Its a whirlwind of pathetic mapping! Its meant to be horrible! This is sick! Its not funny, and any of you who think its funny are even more evil than R1CH!

R_speeds?!?! Who gives a flying fuck about r_speeds when you come to this map!?! Booting it up makes me want to run out, drink an exceptional ammount of liquor, and stab someone in the face with a turkey baster. The damn strobe light! The DAMN strobe lights and the colored horrible Spider base! IT LAGS YES IT DOES! Horrible coating of fruitiness! AARHGHHHHHHHHH!

No I will not calm down! I gave you all that warning before in the newspost! Leave this map alone! Oh sure, if youre drunk or on any other substance sure, boot it up and stare at it for 10 minutes straight until your brain begins dripping out of your EARLOBES! I tell you! Delete the map at once! NOW! DO IT! I am working at the GMD with Satan!


User comments:
this map is good - player
OMFG HORRIBLE HAA!but you saig your the god of review IM GANA WORSH... - [GrV]Glyphion [more]
Player, you only like it cause it reminds you of your bad acid trips. - Saig
I wanted to review this one :( Oh well, Saig pretty much summed it all up nice. - Cataclaw
rofl - kami
best.review.ever. - Dread
I wonder who player is? :D r1ch maybe! MUHUAHAHU! :D - Satannum
This map is nice - Fella
A++++ Super nice! Best map ever!!! I'll be sure to put it on every ma... - Norfenstein [more]
Hey, it was better than my speed map :) - Darkblane
pretty. :0 - Chrono
enjoy the preview movie. goto www.divx.com and get the codecs if you can't see it. - r1ch
Woot! Better than... uh... sseleman! - Devil Warrior
No Dread, Best.Map.Ever ! - Xenoid
i agree with saig... wtf was the idea of doing this map? and did you hav... - Krybosis [more]
yesh yesh yesh... i think R1CH "can't Stop Raving!" - Ranger
this gave me a seizure :( - MajorPain
saig you fool, no one WANTS to be reminded of a bad acid trip - person

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Average rating for Zeqet Erelium: -1/10

Rate-O-Map™

Total: 54 ratings
 
Textures
Cube

Comment: At least there WERE textures in this lump of diarreah!! This is the best aspect of the map, the fact that R1CH at least put textures on the brushes, not like it makes a difference because you cant pay attention to the texture with that ass-inspired lighting!

Layout

Comment: Oh my god, help me. Teleporters to spam, Spider base that will be helplessly camped, air tunnels leading to nowhere...my brain cant handle the horribleness of this map! You spend those 3 hours to make the worst thing you could, didnt you R1CH! ARHJG!

Creativity

Comment: NO! NOT CREATIVE! ITS HELL! Slimeways...no...SIEGE is not as bad as this! No! Take it away! My virgin eyes! Auhghfah!!

Overall

Comment: Take this map, take it away PLEASE! NO GET RID OF IT! NO NO NO! BAD R1CH! BAAAD! AHHHHHHHHHH! NEGATIVE CUBES! NEGATIVE CUBES!
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